I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
