Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
