I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We had sex on a dog bed..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
