either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
