i just google imaged poop.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
