dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
