found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
