I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
