i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
