it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
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