who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
