I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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