Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
