You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
