ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
