Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
