my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
