He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
