well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
