my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My breasts were aching with rage.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
