he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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