at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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