so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
you never un-have a 4some
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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