i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
