I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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