Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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