I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
