is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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