I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
