Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
