just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
