Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
smell my finger.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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