i think my tv is drunk
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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