woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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