idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
