you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
