Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
third nipple confirmed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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