It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
