just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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