I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
