I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
