He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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