All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
how drunk are you?
Several
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
