ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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