Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize