i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's shark week go big or go home
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
