Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
