Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
