found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
