I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
so much tequila, so little girl.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
