i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I would fuck him just for his dog
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
