Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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