belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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